if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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