OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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