Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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