no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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