he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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