the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize