you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize