Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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