Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize