sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
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this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
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I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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