Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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