I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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