My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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