Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  I think I just got seasick

  (409): View more from Texas

  you're not on a boat

  (408): View more from California

  he has a waterbed.

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  (408): I think I just got seasick (409): you're not on a boat (408): he has a waterbed. http://tfl.nu/239c
  Replies (7) Good night (1266) Bad night (496)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.

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  (604): My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry. http://tfl.nu/6crc
  Replies (8) Good night (403) Bad night (1530) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.

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  (240): Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names. http://tfl.nu/nfcq
  Replies (26) Good night (922) Bad night (5073) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome

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  (740): My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome http://tfl.nu/ktp3
  Replies (27) Good night (3414) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER

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  (504): I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging. (504): Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER http://tfl.nu/kpd3
  Replies (38) Good night (6035) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.

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  (902): Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left. http://tfl.nu/ytq9
  Replies (28) Good night (7099) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one

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  (803): just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one http://tfl.nu/7c6m
  Replies (12) Good night (3899) Bad night (1365) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  you thought your balls were fighting each other...

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  (815): you thought your balls were fighting each other... http://tfl.nu/ci9x
  Replies (13) Good night (3983) Bad night (1667) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work

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  (+44): He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work http://tfl.nu/peex
  Replies (3) Good night (869) Bad night (3152) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wonder if you can snort coke upside down

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  (630): I wonder if you can snort coke upside down http://tfl.nu/eyfv
  Replies (20) Good night (1324) Bad night (2882) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.

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  (920): The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight. http://tfl.nu/gkvw
  Replies (3) Good night (1217) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.

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  (540): I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex. http://tfl.nu/djdz
  Replies (5) Good night (1337) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping

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  (210): Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping http://tfl.nu/by8h
  Replies (0) Good night (472) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  "I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."

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  (814): "I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year." http://tfl.nu/a90h
  Replies (5) Good night (565) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.

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  (413): Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days. http://tfl.nu/0sic
  Replies (7) Good night (560) Bad night (424)

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