..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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