yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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