Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize