I wish you could order shots online.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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