So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize