areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
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