I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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