Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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