That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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