Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
All the doctor said was why
Randomize