Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
we should paint friendship bongs
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