There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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