Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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