I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize