at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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