escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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