I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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