I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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