I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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