I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize