it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
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I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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