For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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