yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Randomize