dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize