carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize