A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize