i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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