remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize