just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize