I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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