So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Holy shit dude........stairs
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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