Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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