: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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