She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
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One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
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You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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