i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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