i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize